Catching Up: Quick Hits & Clips

Had a lot going on recently, thus the dearth of posts and new content. Unfortunately, it looks like this might now be the rule--as opposed to the exception. We'll see. In the meantime, I've got a pretty nice selection of Quick Hits and Clips to run through.

Let's get started with some breaking news.

Quick Hits

[So you're sayin' there's a chance?!?!]

Obamamania rages on.

Today was a good one for the big "O." Here's the haul:

WASHINGTON - Sen. Barack Obama swept the Louisiana primary and caucuses in Nebraska and Washington state Saturday night, slicing into Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's slender delegate lead in their historic race for the Democratic presidential nomination.

The Illinois senator also won caucuses in the Virgin Islands, completing his best night of the campaign.

His winning margins were substantial, ranging from roughly two-thirds of the vote in Washington state and Nebraska to nearly 90 percent in the Virgin Islands.

Riiiiiiight nehhhhhhr deh beeeeeach, boiiiiiii!!!!! Today the Virgin Islands, tomorrow the world!!!!!!


Dan Snyder probably has better grass than me...

...because I see no other excuse for this:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Washington Redskins hired Jim Zorn as their coach Saturday night, a surprise ending to a monthlong search for a replacement for Joe Gibbs.

"I've always dreamed of being a head coach with a franchise rich in tradition like the Redskins," Zorn said in a team news release. "As a player who had to fight Redskins teams at RFK as well as at our home field, I know about the history of this franchise as well as the passion of its fans. I won't let you down."

Jim Zorn?! I'm glad I'm not a Redskins fan. I think Dan Snyder should write a book called "Reverse-Moneyball: The Art of Losing a Fair Game." Nobody wants to be like Billy Beane anyway. Seriously though, Jim Zorn? I guess Snyder sensed the sincerity in his "I won't let you down" and figured a guy that noble had no business being a quarterbacks coach in Seattle for 7 years:

"We're proud that our search was diligent, thorough, and resulted in today's announcement," owner Dan Snyder said. "Jim's track record and reputation as a player, great teacher, and as a coach makes us confident that they will translate to success for the Redskins."

Zorn, a former Seattle quarterback, was the Seahawks' quarterbacks coach for the last seven years. The Redskins hired him to be their offensive coordinator--his highest coaching position until now--on Jan. 26 while continuing their search for a head coach.

I know he wasn't going for the bargain--this is a guy who uses hundred dollar bills to make sure the battery in his office paper shredder still works. Let's see, he could have hypothetically hired Greg Williams, Al Saunders, Tony Sparano, Jim Fassel, or Steve Spagnuolo, and Danny boy settled--after a month-long "search"--on a warm body to coach his $1.5 billion investment. But hey, at least he knows Zorn 'won't let him down.'


The Neuheisel Era.

Keeping with the Seattle theme here, many thanks to my buddy (and Husky Truther) Kenjar for sending me this four-part feature on Rick Neuheisel's tenure at U-Dub. We had this "Jerramy Stevens sighting" running joke on our fantasy football message board all season, and part two of the feature discusses Stevens' troubled times at UW--with some nice depth on our personal favorite: the time Jerramy Stevens raped a freshman in the bushes outside Kenjar's frat house.

[UW's Greek Row, where, at about 3 AM on June 4, 2000, a student witnessed a possible rape in progress outside the Kappa Sigma house and called 911]

From Stevens to Spellman.

Unlike Jerramy Stevens, Alonzo Spellman has some pretty strong justification for getting arrested last month: he's a Buckeye. They can't help it. Here's The M Zone's write-up on Spellman's latest run-in with the law:

Former Buckeye first round draft pick Alonzo "I smile for mugshots" Spellman was arrested Wednesday in Tulsa after leading police on a chase which ended with the cops having to fire pepper-spray bullets into his vehicle after he refused to exit.

According to the AP story linked above, Spellman was booked into the Tulsa County Jail on complaints of eluding, assault with a deadly weapon on a police officer, resisting arrest and driving without a license.

Police said the most damning evidence against the ex-Tosu great was was the full Beard & Buckstache he was sporting at the time of his arrest.

Yost wasn't joking about the 'smiling for mugshots' thing. Just look at this goon's booking photo:

["Is this the free 5 o'clock crack giveaway?"]

Typical Buckeye meatball.


WSJ pooping Rickey's party.

Sadly, the Wall Street Journal recently decided to kill off one of the great stories from the career of Major League Baseball player Rickey Henderson. In avoidance of stealing someone else's thunder, follow this link to read The Big Lead's synopsis of The Journal's dastardly plans. For further reading on Rickey's career tales, see the Must-Reads section in the right sidebar for a link to The Definitive Rickey Henderson.

Clips

I'm not going to waste much time with the lead-ins. The clips in this selection stand on their own merits.


Berman Gone Wild.

Chances are most of you have seen the following footage already. Still, I would be remiss if it didn't make its way on to The Effrontery. It's an outtake from about 7 years ago, featuring Chris "He could. Go. All. The. Way." Berman getting pretty testy with the production crew during an ESPN taping. Enjoy:





In case the clip ever gets taken off YouTube, this Deadspin post has a permanent embed.


Election redux.

Déjà vu all over again:





Funny stuff. I'm not anti-Hillary, but there's a lot of Tracy Flick goin' on there.


Dance Dance RevObama.

Thanks galore to Joncheeler for sending me this clip from E!'s The Soup:





He's a maniac, maniac, on the floor. And he's dancing like he's never danced before. Hey, speaking of maniacs...


Stop The Insanity.

The Tom Cruise Scientology indoctrination video is old (insofar as entertainment news goes), but I watched it again today and am still amazed. What a wacko. Of course, those pesky Scientologists had it yanked off YouTube within a day, meaning that you must follow this link to the Defamer post with the permanent embed if you wish to view the madness of King Cruise.



Until next time.

That's all I've got for now. Not sure when I'll be able to resume regular posting, so I hope today's offering tides you over until then.

Peace and afro grease.

How To Piss Off A Catholic: Part II

The following will only make sense (and in turn, be much funnier) if you have already read my "How To Piss Off A Catholic" post from January 23.


Finally, some visual evidence of Dana Jacobson's antics at the Mike And Mike Celebrity Roast has surfaced. Many thanks to Baseball Musings and The Big Lead for digging up the photographs:

[The "Michigan Difference"]

Yes, that is the infamous "vodka swilling" moment Deadspin was so giddy about last week. If you ask me, the best part of the photo is Trey Wingo sporting that shit-eating grin in the background. Classic. Here's another shot, this time of Jeff Ross (obscured) trying to help (read: kick) Jacobson off stage:

[Even Mike Ditka was embarrassed]

Between the anti-Notre Dame rhetoric and the prolonged Belvedere-swig, there is ample evidence to support the notion that Dana Jacobson culled her wild ways at some of Ann Arbor's finest sorority hotspots. Keeping with tradition, I'm sure she practiced on the Svedka before moving up to the Belvedere big leagues.

How To Piss Off A Catholic

About a week ago, I linked an article to the "This Just In..." section about ESPN anchorwoman Dana Jacobson's boorish behavior at the Mike and Mike Celebrity Roast. The piece, from Deadspin, briefly summarizes what went on in Atlantic City:

ESPN anchor Dana Jacobson made an absolute fool of herself, swilling vodka from a Belvedere bottle, mumbling along and cursing like a sailor as Mike & Mike rested their heads in their hands in embarrassment. [Comedian Eddie] Griffin came to the podium to defend her after she was booed by the crowd. Ross eventually had to pull her off stage, too.

Then, the feature makes light of Jacobson's drunken attempts at humor:

We can think of no more appropriate reaction to being forced to attend a Mike And Mike Roast than swigging from a bottle of Belvedere, Jim Morrison-style, while jumping on stage and, essentially, committing career suicide. We'd do the exact same thing, had we been in that position. And we wouldn't have looked as perty.

Well, the reason all that caught my attention and found its way on to The Effrontery is twofold: 1) I have an unhealthy obsession with SportsCenter anchors/reporters and their deployment [ed. note: not just the anchors themselves, but more the time slots they fill and the way certain people are paired up], and 2) Dana Jacobson is a Jew who graduated from The University of Michigan with a BA in English. I joked that "she clearly learned how to party in A^2," but I didn't realize how accurate that statement was until this morning. WorldNetDaily has an exclusive on Jacobson's inflammatory remarks from the roast:

A Catholic advocacy group charges the sports TV network ESPN has failed to respond properly to a graphic rant by anchorwoman Dana Jacobson in which she "attacked Jesus Christ."

Jacobson, reportedly intoxicated, was speaking at a celebrity roast in Atlantic City, N.J., when she unleashed a profane tirade, saying, "F--- Notre Dame," "F--- Touchdown Jesus" and finally "F--- Jesus."

If I could marry Dana Jacobson and never have to look at her I totally would [ed. note: she's pretty booty; see below].

[The pride of Bloomfield Hills, MI]

It bears repeating: Jacobson is Jewish and graduated from UofM. If you don't believe me, just use the above comments as a checklist. Being a member of both tribes myself, I couldn't be more proud. She almost kind of sorta totally reaffirmed my faith in The SportsCenter Anchor during a time in which lame pundits seem to be doing little more than shopping at the catchphrase store. Well, she didn't quite do that, but dropping a "F--- Notre Dame" sequence certainly went a long way. Then there's the icing on the cake:

Jacobson is a Michigan graduate, and she and Golic, a former Irish defensive lineman, often have exchanged barbs about the rivalry between the schools.

...

Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis also was in attendance.

Though he was probably too enthralled with the crème brulee they served for dessert to notice, I would love to have seen the look on Fat Charlie's engorged face when Jacobson was throwing the F-bombs. The thought alone slays me. Unfortunately, Catholics are vicious and love to get riled up over...everything:

Catholic League president Bill Donohue said he pressed ESPN on the issue and received an e-mail with an unsatisfactory statement by Jacobson.

The statement said, in part, "My remarks about Notre Dame were foolish and insensitive. I respect all religions and did not mean anything derogatory by my poorly chosen words."

Donohue contended the response "fails on several counts."

...

"It is obvious, then, that neither Jacobson nor ESPN is dealing with this matter in a professional way," Donohue declared. "To put this issue behind them, ESPN must deal with this issue quickly, publicly and fairly, something it has yet to do. After all, most Christians are yet unaware of this event, but once they learn of it, they are sure to demand accountability."

Of course, any time someone starts screaming and waving a crucifix at ESPN, the network generally follows up with the ubiquitous dog-and-pony sanction. Such is the case with Jacobson, who is currently serving a one-week suspension from The Worldwide Leader for her comments made at the roast. Because, you know, Jesus gets really really sad when people call him names.

Whatever. She'll be back in a week and Notre Dame will still suck on ice--life goes on. But we'll always have those remarks to keep us warm at night. Thank you, Dana.


More, more, more. Deadspin's discussion of the latest blowback is great; a lot of it is MOTS, but they get a mention here for attacking the dubious integrity of Bill Donohue. Word.