In Yo Face You Shady Rug Trader

Yeah, I said it.


Justice may be blind and slow, but today it was served.

When Marlin Jackson was playing football at Michigan, he always stood out on the field as one of those guys who just looked like an NFL player. Some stats in a second, but I had to begin there. I was fortunate enough to see the All-American defensive back play during my time at M and can personally verify the impressive 'look.' He dominated at cornerback and, in every measure, the statistics communicate his pure awesomeness in a winged helmet. From the Bentley Historical Archive:

Jackson earned Freshman All-America first team honors from the Sporting News after collecting 47 tackles, seven pass break-ups and three interceptions in 2001.

An All-Big Ten selection in 2002, Jackson set single game (six) and single season (18) pass break-up records and ranked sixth on the team with 51 tackles.

Jackson earned All-Big Ten first team honors from the coaches and media in 2004. Teams threw away from Jackson almost 87 percent of the time during the regular season. He contributed 38 tackles, five tackles for loss, one sack, one forced fumble, one interception and four pass breakups that year.

Emphasis mine. Eighty seven percent?!?! That is nuts. N-V-T-S, nuts. He would go on to be selected by the Indianapolis Colts with the 29th overall pick in the 2005 NFL Draft--a bit of a snub given his top-20 abilities--and is still under contract with the franchise. He was instrumental in securing a Lombardi Trophy for the Colts in Super Bowl XLI [ed. note: something I'll certainly never forget given the fact that he picked off Tom Brady to clinch the AFC Title and send Horseface Manning to his only Super Bowl]. So why the slip down the draft board in 2005?

[Marlin Jackson's helmet is flying because it has wings]

I'm glad you asked. In the above-listed stats, you'll notice something missing: numbers from 2003, his Junior season. It was a curious year for the Sharon, Pa. native on and off the field. With relative depth at the corner position and a general hole at safety, the All-Everything Jackson switched positions in an effort to help shore up an inconsistent secondary. It did not go swimmingly. He experienced his worst year as a Wolverine statistically and nagging injuries beset whatever minor impact may have existed [ed. note: when he returned to cornerback for his final season, that 'eighty seven percent' stuff happened]. His mind and body just weren't right that year, and away from the team there were other trifles taking place. In particular, a clandestine fracas at one of Ann Arbor's fine evening house parties wherein some Drakkar-wearing, hair-slicking, almond-eating dickhole was understandably punched in the face by my main man Marlin. He pleaded guilty to misdemeanor aggravated assault and was sentenced to probation. Never a good résumé builder, but not the end of the world, ya dig? Fast-forward to the '05 Draft, and now there's noise about an impending civil lawsuit claiming a different set of circumstances. To wit:

Former U-M student Shahin Farokhrany sued for $10 million in May 2005, alleging his injuries required long-term medical care and limited his ability to study and work.


Farokhrany alleged he was hit in the eye with a bottle; Marlin admitted he hit Farokhrany but insists it was with his fist, his attorney, Ellis Freatman said.

You heard the name. But wait...there's more. Brian @ MGoBlog couldn't have been more right when he noted that this guy "certainly looks like an eminently punchable douchebag." Click here for proof. Given that, does the late addition of a weapon to the story sound about right? Unfortunately for Marlin, the timing couldn't have been worse. His draft status and reputation took a hit, having to defend himself of false accusations throughout the interview process, and with that followed the dip in salary that always travels downward and in step with a player's ultimate draft position.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, not to worry. The verdict is in and it is Effronterlicious:

A Washtenaw County jury today found former Wolverine Marlin Jackson was defamed by a fellow student who falsely accused him of assault with a bottle at an off-campus party in 2003.

The six-member panel also awarded Jackson, a defensive back with the Indianapolis Colts, $225,000 in damages--roughly the equivalent of a draft slot in the NFL, said his attorney, Ellis Freatman.

I've been in such a good mood all day because of this. Marlin was cleared of any assault and the eminently punchable douchebag was found guilty of malicious prosecution! Justice is served, bitch. If you plan on consuming any spirits tonight, be sure to raise a glass to a vindicated Marlin Jackson.


(HT: MGoBlog)

Statistics courtesy of The Bentley Historical Library and STL All Sports.
Photo Credit: Associated Press

Bring 'Dat Beat Back

I stumbled upon an amazing highlight reel from one of my all-time favorite Michigan Football games, played August 31, 2002, when UofM faced the Washington Huskies at The Big House on opening day in front of 111,000+ people. The clip itself is fantastic because it does a great job of telling the story of that game--rather than just showcasing all the Michigan touchdowns in biased fashion. I will remember that day for the rest of my life, and here are some notable reasons why (as well as a few interesting things to look for in the clip):

• My first ever game at The Big House; my parents, who were in town to help me move in to my freshman dorm, came with me to the game.
  

• It was about 90 degrees and humid as hell.
  

• Chris Perry ripped off a 60+ yard touchdown run on the second play of the season.
  

• Braylon Edwards was still wearing #80, a year away from putting on the #1 and never looking back.
  

• I only disliked John Navarre at this point, and was still a few weeks away from learning to completely loathe him with every fiber of my being.
  

• It was still the Neuheisel Era at U-Dub.
  

• Michigan and Washington came in to the game ranked #8 and #9 in the country, respectively.
  

• It was a flat-out incredible game and had one of those tense, dramatic endings... Michigan was down 28-29 when Philip Brabbs connected on a 44-yard field goal with time expiring to give the Wolverines the victory. Great sidenote: Brabbs was benched earlier in the game after two misses, then Troy Nienberg came in and missed a field goal, so Lloyd Carr put Brabbs back in and he nailed the game-winner.
  

Here's the footage, courtesy of Wolverine Historian:





Goosebumps. Every damn time. It's weird, but watching those highlights stirs up every conceivable emotion and leaves me not knowing whether to cheer, cry, smile, scream, laugh, faint, or simply call my buddy Joncheeeler to reminisce. That game basically set the tone for the greatest four years of my life.

RichRod Update

Note: if you didn't read my "Almost heaven..." post from January 18, start there to get brought up to speed.


The West Virginia Jihad. More coverage and analysis from Brian at MGoBlog:

"West F-in' Jihad: Day VII" - Monday, January 21, 2008

"West F-in' Jihad: Day IX" - Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The upshot. As Brian puts it:

Assumptions going forward: the shredding thing was much ado about precisely nothing, Rodriguez is neither Satan or Carr, and no one should particularly care about the outcome of the WVU-Rodriguez lawsuit.

The coach. Newly hired WVU football coach Bill Stewart couldn't agree more and said as much to The Charleston Gazette:

Stewart has had enough of it. Tuesday night, though, he became one of the few principles involved to say enough is enough, at least without slinging more mud in the process.

In fact, if he slung anything it was rose petals.

"He's the football coach at Michigan and I'm the football coach at West Virginia and that's what we need to be doing," Stewart told the Gazette late Tuesday night. "The wounds need to heal. We need to go on."

Seriously. Stewart has a job to do and wants to get down to business--something WVU fans would probably find in their best interest:

...as for the he-said, she-said mess that has been created by all of the collateral issues--from Rodriguez calling WVU recruits, shredding files and generally leaving in a huff to new accusations from Rodriguez's camp of racial prejudice in the search for his successor--Stewart said he wishes it would just all go away so that both universities can focus on the future rather than the past.

"Who is any of this helping? It's certainly not helping West Virginia University or Michigan. It's not helping Billy Stewart or Rich Rodriguez," Stewart said. "I understand there are issues and a lot of them have to be dealt with. But hasn't it just all gotten ridiculous? How did we get to this point?"

The simple answer... West Virginians are crazy. Unfortunately, irrational fan backlash is the price an institution must be willing to pay when it enters into a high-profile coaching search. Bob Wojnowski of the Detroit News makes some great points to that effect:

People are so wounded in West Virginia, there allegedly has been vandalism to Rodriguez's property and threats to his family. Internet sites are finding all sorts of ways to defile Rodriguez, a West Virginia alum who plummeted from state hero to state heretic.

He knew some of this was coming, and Michigan should have expected it. There's no reason for athletic director Bill Martin or president Mary Sue Coleman to get squeamish now. If they have the stomach to authorize a $226 million renovation of Michigan Stadium, and the boldness to swipe one of college football's best coaches for $2 million-plus per season, they better have the strength to deal with the ugly side.

Martin declined comment Thursday, but Rodriguez said his boss backs him fully. Asked if he wanted to apologize to West Virginia for anything, Rodriguez sounded puzzled.

"Apologize for what?" he said. "I know their feelings are hurt. I changed jobs, this is America. I don't know what the agenda is, but I'd like for everybody to move forward."

...

Rodriguez was so ingrained at West Virginia, his departure was going to anger people no matter how he left, or where he went. If this makes folks in Ann Arbor uneasy, they're probably pining for a college football world that doesn't exist anymore. Four decades of promoting from within made Michigan one of the most stable programs, and one of the most insulated.

Bottom line. Feelings were hurt, poo was flung, rabid college football fans acted like rabid college football fans, Michigan knew what it was in for (or should have) when it entered the football arms race, the courts and lawyers will deal with the buyout, both fanbases need to move on and focus on 2008.

Barwis The Destroyer

I was trying to explain to someone that hiring Rich Rodriguez, unquestionably one of the top coaches in all of college football, was not Michigan's most significant off-season upgrade. My argument was limp and unconvincing, largely because I didn't have the right backup. Thankfully, the internet is here to help out. I'll start with this piece from the Times West Virginian:

It is not meant to belittle the effect of the defection of West Virginia football coach Rich Rodriguez to Michigan, but if I were to tell you that his departure may not be the most difficult for the school's athletic department to withstand you may think that I spent a little too much time this week in Kentucky with my old friend Jack Daniels.

Yet that may be the case. As much as Rodriguez was the architect of the revival of WVU football, converting it into a national power, there was someone on his staff who may have laid the foundation not only for the football renaissance but for the rise of the school's other sports programs.

That person was Mike Barwis, who served as the director of strength and conditioning at the school, which meant that he supervised the entire Mountaineer strength program.

Okay, so big deal. Right? Wrong. Before I go any further, I need to note the fact that Michigan has been using the same S&C program it ran when Bo Schembechler was hired; only one other program in the country still uses it, and I doubt you'll be surprised when I tell you that it's Penn State, coached by octogenarian Joe Paterno. Anyway, the same article does a good job of explaining why S&C (and Barwis, specifically) is so important:

Let us first understand that in the field of athletics in this modern era, it is the strength coach who becomes closest to the athletes. In truth, [Barwis] spends far more time with them than does the head coach, who has duties recruiting and raising funds in the off-season while Barwis is running them up law school hill or devising other devilish programs that are meant to build both physical and mental strength.

But Barwis always finds time to reach each player on a personal level. He is a brother to some, father to other, priest to those who need some spiritual guidance and warden, if necessary.

It is difficult to imagine what it is like to be cooped up in a weight room with Barwis, who is hard as granite and wound so tight that he literally can't take a break from his routine. If you think you get a jolt out of 5-Hour Energy Drink, get yourself a transfusion of Barwis' blood, if you can get him to lie still on a table long enough to part with it.

Those are some strong words. But you know what's crazy? They don't do the guy justice. Upon being hired by Michigan, Barwis answered questions at his introductory presser about the changes he would implement...





Whoa. Intensity in ten cities, as Wayne Campbell would say. The Freep abides:

When Rich Rodriguez interviewed for the Michigan football coaching job, he knew little about the Wolverines' inner workings.

Yet, despite scant firsthand knowledge of the strength-and-conditioning program, he asked for and received a significant amount of money to improve it.

That's why the weight room downstairs in Schembechler Hall was virtually empty Friday -- new equipment is en route -- and upstairs, new strength and conditioning coach Mike Barwis was holding court on his relentless approach.

"I hope none of us scare them off," said Barwis, who leads a staff of six. "I hope all the kids here want to be a part of the program and work to achieve their goals. ...I love them all like they're my children, but I'm going to be hard on them -- I'm hard on my children.

Tip of the iceberg, people. Here's Barwis The Destroyer amping up the Mountaineers before their thrashing of Oklahoma in the 2008 Fiesta Bowl [ed. note: it's not as long as the last clip, which was a full press conference]:





Jeebus. I cream my pants every time I watch footage of Mike Barwis. I wish I had that clip on hand when I was trying to make my point the other day. Although, things might have gotten messy.


UPDATE (8:36 PM): I forgot to include one related quote regarding the coaching transition and a subject of major worry to me (former players feeling welcome and comfortable with the new regime). Leave it to RichRod to assuage my concern:

In an effort to introduce himself and his staff to former Michigan players, Rodriguez plans to host an event in Ann Arbor in February.

"I want to meet all the guys that played here. I didn't play here, so I didn't know a lot of them. But I know how much pride they have in this place, and I want to meet 'em and talk to 'em, and I want to make sure all the former players feel welcome coming back here, and I think they will once they meet all the staff members."

Music to my ears.

Almost heaven...

...pretty damn close to hell.

[The Shredder]

A lot of people have been asking me about this whole Rich Rodriguez/West Virginia bru ha ha for a few days now. While I am more than happy to field your UofM queries, Brian at MGoBlog has been following the situation with a magnifying glass and fine-toothed comb all week long, making him a far better arbiter of truth. As such, here are the links (in chronological order) to his running analysis:

"Oklahoma's Defense or Paper?" - Tuesday, January 15, 2008

"West F-in' Jihad: Day II" - Wednesday, January 16, 2008

"West F-in' Jihad: Day III" - Thursday, January 17, 2008

"West F-in' Jihad: Day IV" - Friday, January 18, 2008

Not only does Brian do a comprehensive job of covering the nitty-gritty and debunking vindictive spin, he also happens to be quite entertaining. I highly recommend reading those posts.

Moving away from the blogosphere, but keeping with the Rodriguez/WVU spat, the following MSM article responding to the disjointed and irrational outcry is a must-read:

"WVU's juvenile behavior toward Rodriguez must stop" - Friday, January 18, 2008

I'll try to provide more updates as things develop. Stay tuned.

Quick Hits

So much time and so little to do.

Wait.

Strike that. Reverse it.

Some Wednesday quick hits...


Jay Bilas. ...is still a deluded pederast. But more people are starting to catch on(!), like Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports:

It was one thing for ESPN's Jay Bilas to keep defending Tommy Amaker's brutal run as coach at Michigan, but another to start going after his successor, John Beilein, for being honest about the pitiful program left him in Ann Arbor.

The more Bilas shills for Amaker, the more people in basketball laugh at him.

Unlike Amaker, Beilein never had the ultimate coaching godfather to pick up the phone and get him a job.

"C'mon Jay, that is terrible," an NBA scout who watched Amaker's team regularly in the Big Ten emailed me this week after reading Bilas’ blog rant.

"Almost laughable, really."

Here here. Almost as laughable as Bilas' go-to catchphrase for exalting deep 3-point shooters, where he refers to the player as being "really, really long." That's sort of like Al Michaels' famed injury remark, "he's out with a knee."


T.P. are you with me? Well, yes. Apparently, this weekend:

Big news on the Terrelle Pryor front -- he has changed his official visit date and will head to Ann Arbor this weekend (he was originally scheduled to come in just before signing day).

If anyone in Ann Arbor is listening, GO TO THE FUCKING IOWA GAME THIS WEEKEND! Sorry for yelling...in case you can't tell, Terrelle Pryor is kind of a big deal:

Pryor is a dynamic dual-threat quarterback that showcased his talent in front of a national television audience at the U.S. Army All-American Bowl. His 6-foot-6, 235-pound frame draws natural comparisons to Vince Young, and his stats support his status as the nation's No. 1 player. He finished his career with 4,250 rushing yards and 4,249 passing yards. He led his team to a state championship as a senior, as he rushed for 1,899 yards and 36 scores. He also got it done through the air with 1,889 passing yards and 23 scores.

Basically, the consensus #1 high school player in the country didn't even have Michigan on his radar a month ago. Enter Rich Rodriguez and BAM! POW! WHACK!: T.P. essentially narrows his choices to Ohio State and Michigan. Wow. Considering that, the fact there is even a sliver of a fiber of a remote chance at landing him is absolutely crazy, but then again so is RichRod and his wacko ninja offense. All bets are off. What it boils down to is (on paper) one player holding the immediate future of both football programs in his hot little touchdown-throwing hands. The projected success he is expected to have at whatever university he selects, be it Michigan or Ohio State, pales in comparison to the effect his decision would have upon the school he rejects. If he hypothetically chooses Ohio State, Michigan will still find an excellent quarterback to run the show (and vice-versa). But if this is the case, Ohio State will be the prohibitive favorite on the third Saturday in November for the duration of his enrollment. That, people, is something WORTH YELLING ABOUT. Brian at MGoBlog is of like mind and already has his Pryor Klaxons set to maximum.


Downer. This article about Antonio Bass' knee rehab is really depressing. I mean, it's nice to see him so positive and determined, but you can't help but feel for the guy. Geez.


Upper! With attrition-palooza finally over in Ann Arbor, here's someone who isn't leaving early to go pro:

University of Michigan defensive tackle Terrance Taylor won't be joining junior wide receivers Mario Manningham and Adrian Arrington in the 2008 NFL Draft.

Muskegon High School coach Tony Annese said Tuesday afternoon that his former player had decided to return to Michigan for his senior season.

"I had lunch with him and we really talked about getting a degree," Annese said. "And he said that's what he wanted to do."

Phew. In the immortal words of Bo Schembechler, "those who stay will be champions." Incidentally, they will also be college graduates. A university degree for a football player? What a novel concept.


Class. Something foreign to the city of Indianapolis and its football supporters. Did anybody catch that brief ceremony at the end of the 3rd quarter during Saturday's playoff matchup between the Chargers and Colts? Well, I did. And so did the Patriots' head honcho:

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. (AP) -- Patriots owner Robert Kraft sat behind his wide desk and marveled at how his team's jersey could be the target of so many boos -- even when it's worn by a 14-year-old girl.

This wasn't Randy Moss or Rodney Harrison hearing the catcalls. They're used to it.

This was Anna Grant, a high school freshman who had worked hard to win the Punt, Pass & Kick competition in her age group as the team's representative.

When she was introduced along with the other winners before the fourth quarter of San Diego's playoff win last Sunday, she was the only one booed by the crowd in Indianapolis, home of New England's fiercest rival.

...

"What I decided is that we would honor her here before this game," Kraft said in an interview in his office filled with photos, footballs and other memorabilia. "We will recognize her as the winner on the field. Our fans will know."

Grant returned from school Tuesday and heard a phone message from Andre Tippett, the Patriots' executive director of community affairs and a former star linebacker.

She called back and was ecstatic when Tippett extended the invitation -- plus tickets for her, her parents and two brothers -- to take part.

Go Pats. Go Bob Kraft. Go Anna Grant. And screw you, Colts fans. Just remember how much you and your organization suck while you are booing Anna Grant this weekend from your Costco-decorated living rooms. Way to send the RCA Dome out in style.


Doc & Gopher. For you "Love Boat" enthusiasts out there, check out this 30th Anniversary oral history as told by some of the show's cast members and creators. It's filled with interesting and random facts, like Producer Doug Cramer's remarks on hiring Ted McGinley, the patron saint of "jumping the shark," to breathe a little life into the series:

He was a junior Bob Redford in his day.

Yes, I especially enjoyed Mr. Redford's performances in Revenge of the Nerds and Married...with Children.


That's it for today's quick hits. I may add an update or two, depending on how the rest of the day goes. Don't hold your breath. Unless you are hoping Terrelle Pryor selects Michigan--in that case, suffocate away! If it somehow helps us nab Pryor, you will be martyred and have your praises sung for eternity.


UPDATE (4:58 PM): Some additional stuff on Pryor & Michigan from Sports Illustrated:

The nation's No. 1 player, Jeannette, Pa., quarterback Terrelle Pryor, has had quite a busy week since the U.S. Army All American Bowl. He's added a recruiting mentor, he's shuffled a few of his official visit dates and he's now interested in a new team. Here's the latest on Pryor.

"I'm taking my official visit to Michigan on Jan. 18, that's this upcoming weekend," he said. "I was supposed to go to Penn State but that's changed. I'm not really sure where I'm going on Jan. 25 and if I'll even take a visit in February. Right now it's Michigan as the only one scheduled."

Pryor has been allowing his new mentor, Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Charlie Batch, to help with the process now that it is getting more hectic.

I like that he moved up his visit to UofM in order to spend the full weekend there. Clearly, he's very interested. Unlike with Penn State--a place he isn't going to visit--where the fear of JoePa sinking those dentures into Terrelle's neck to further enhance his longevity is a real concern. Personally, I was fixated on his choice of mentor: Charlie Batch. In my best Sheila Broflovski voice, "What, whaaat, whaaaaat?" Dude! That's crazy! I mean, whether it is crazy good or crazy bad is neither here nor there...but it is definitely random. Here's the skinny:

I've known Charlie for a couple years. His brother dates my aunt. Charlie is kind of part of my family now. We talk. I asked him if he would want to go on my visits, and he said sure.

Again, not sure if this helps Michigan any or hurts it. Batch did play for the Lions at one point in his career, so hopefully he still has some fond memories of his time in SE Michigan.

Quick Hits

I'm all over the place today, so a few quick hits...


The Mallett. Possibly transferring? No. Definitely transferring:

Ryan Mallett's father said Wednesday the quarterback has left the Michigan football program...

The former Texas Class 4A offensive player of the year may end up at Tennessee, which is considering hiring former Michigan offensive coordinator Mike DeBord and quarterbacks coach Scot Loeffler.

Here's daddy on his son's decision:

"If they’re hired, that would be a real good possibility," Jim Mallett said. "Ryan really clicked with both coach DeBord and coach Loeffler during the last couple months of the season and during bowl practices, I’ve never seen Ryan throw the ball or read defenses as well as he did."

Soooo, you’re on record as saying he sucks? I mean, if this is the best his father has ever seen him play and practice, Mallett must have been super-awful his whole life--instead of just quasi-awful. He was horrendous this season, true freshman or not, and is a bona fide head case that the program can't afford to deal with in a transition year. Good riddance.


A2 staying in A2? Not so much:

"Today is a very emotional day for me," Adrian Arrington said in a statement released by the school. "As much as I will miss my teammates, friends and Michigan football family, I have always dreamed about playing in the NFL.

"I believe that I am ready to take on this challenge and move on to the next level. Though I will be catching passes in another city starting next fall, I will always be a Michigan man."

Sigh. No surprise there, but still. I'm saying AA will be a solid pro, and if he slips a bit in the draft and lands somewhere decent-to-good, he'll be a star.


Jay Bilas, deluded pederast. I'd ordinarily leave it at that, but Jim Carty does a fine job of breaking things down for you:

You can't take his criticisms seriously without wondering whether he truly believes what he's saying or just wants to hurt the school that hurt his friend.

Given that, it's probably time for someone at ESPN to suggest to Bilas that--after calling for athletic director Bill Martin's firing and now ripping a first-year coach who's in the midst of a rebuilding job--it's time to leave the Wolverines alone for a while.

And time for Michigan fans to turn somewhere else for serious analysis of their basketball program.

After defusing Bilas' misguided claims, Carty posted a follow-up from a local coach connected to both Tommy Amaker and John Beilein, which speaks to said pederast's bias:

I spent many days at Tommy Amaker practices and attended almost all of Beilein's practices this year before my season began. In my opinion, Michigan has gone from the West Michigan White Caps to the Detroit Tigers in terms of level of coaching. There simply is no comparison between these two gentlemen. Beilein will get it done at Michigan--when he has Big Ten players.

Hey, Jay? Why don't you and Ryan Mallett hop on a flight to Beantown and start fondling Tommy Amaker's balls [ed. note: no pun intended]. ASAP.

For further reading, I recommend this take from Brian at MGoBlog [ed. note: the relevant part comes midway through the post].


BCS Schadenfreude, revisited. The Columbus Dispatch has wonderful news for Rich Rodriguez and Co.:

Depending on how many juniors declare for the NFL draft, Ohio State could make a run at a third straight appearance in the national title game.

"A little bit of it will be determined by who ends up (leaving early)," Tressel said. "I'm guessing (defensive end) Vernon Gholston for sure, because being a fourth-year guy I don't know how much more he can enhance himself draft-wise...and I'm guessing maybe (linebacker James) Laurinaitis."

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiick.


Mom. So, I made the mistake of allowing my mother to read The Effrontery. Yeah. As a result, I'm starting to get e-mails like this one from Sunday:

Buon giorno, Chill,
Don't be an Eli-hater! He may not be there on 2/3/08, but he rocked today. (Flashes of his big-bro, but, yes, everyone already knows you are a Peyton-hater!) What happened to John Grudin [sic] this morning??? Is he still recovering from New Year's Eve?????? He seemed a bit comatose today.
xoxox

Whoa. Just whoa. I'm quite amused and a bit appalled all at once. So, I might as well respond, right? Without getting into the whole argument, yes, I'm a total Peyton-hater. And hate is indeed the correct word. To quote the famous Right Guard deodorant commercial, "Anything less would be uncivilized." Eli? Meh. I'm completely indifferent; to call me an Eli-hater would imply some level of interest--like, the way I am interested in seeing Peyton fail at every possible opportunity. The only thing I haven't figured out yet is whether or not I dislike PM more than Tony "Two-face" Dungy, the bigoted, intolerant charlatan who preaches goodwill towards man while openly condemning anyone who does not adhere to the tenets of his religious fundamentalism. Wait, I think we just figured out the answer. Still doesn't change the fact that my mom roots for the Colts when she could easily be cheering for a more noble cause. Like Tom Brady and the Pats.

As to being addressed as "Chill," well, it's better than "assface."


J Leman: Chuck Norris' worst nightmare. I linked to a superb post from Black Heart, Gold Pants about the extracurricular pursuits of one J Leman, All-American Hero. You can find it in the "This Just In..." section, but here's a teaser:

Leman's favorite infomercials are those hawking exercise products and kitchen gadgets, particularly the "Magic Bullet."

"It's the personal countertop magician," Leman said. "It can do anything in 10 seconds or less. It does it all."

J Leman is great.

Geaux Les Miles!

The argument goes like this: if you are a Michigan fan, it is important to root for Ohio State against LSU in tonight's MNC because "it's a Big 10 thing."

Incredibly, some Michigan fans are actually buying into this crap logic--including Yost at The M Zone, whom I normally have much admiration for:

It's a Big 10 thing. Michigan knocked off Florida and a Buck defeat of the Bayou Bengals would go a long way toward shutting people up about SEC superiority and the Big 10's alleged decline (well, all except Drew Sharp).

The only reasonable point there is the one about Drew Sharp. Total asshat. Beyond that, his logic as a Michigan fan is completely and utterly out of whack. What's more important, keeping the SEC from bragging about its alleged superiority for a year--a totally subjective argument--or keeping Ohio State fans from forever bragging about their third appearance and second MNC victory in 6 years? It's not even close.

Any good will that Ohio State fans built up by pulling for Michigan against Florida warrants no recompense when a National Title is at stake. Furthermore, the fact that Michigan went out and beat the SEC's 'speed, spread and shred' poster boy in its back yard is proof enough that the myth of SEC superiority over all of college football is just that--a myth. I don't need to see Ohio State win another goddamn MNC to feel better about my conference or my school. For the life of me, I don't know why any self-respecting Michigan fan would feel otherwise.

Then there's the Les Miles thing. Please, can we get a moratorium on people accusing him of making our program look bad? Sailboat Bill Martin made the program look bad, then saved face by pulling a Rodriguez--er, rabbit--out of his Maize and Blue hat. The presumption that Miles harbors some animosity towards Michigan might be valid, but only because he wanted dearly to come home. He's coaching to win the biggest game of his career, not to rub victory in the faces of UofM loyalists, as The M Zone suggests:

...he'll probably then hold another press conference after the game announcing he's not coming to Michigan to rub it in.

I love The M Zone and will continue reading it regularly, but I just couldn't let that post go by without making my point. The sports adage I will always abide by is this: "My two favorite teams are Michigan and whoever is playing Ohio State." That Michigan Man Les Miles is coaching against my hated rival only makes rooting easier. He would be saving us a from a lifetime of incontrovertible bragging. So, save us Les, save us:

(credit: Michigan Against The World)

Buckeyes are browneyes.

UPDATE (2:12 PM): Speak of the devil, Drew Sharp apparently feels that Michigan fans will be rooting for OSU; Michigan Against The World disagrees.