In Yo Face You Shady Rug Trader

Yeah, I said it.


Justice may be blind and slow, but today it was served.

When Marlin Jackson was playing football at Michigan, he always stood out on the field as one of those guys who just looked like an NFL player. Some stats in a second, but I had to begin there. I was fortunate enough to see the All-American defensive back play during my time at M and can personally verify the impressive 'look.' He dominated at cornerback and, in every measure, the statistics communicate his pure awesomeness in a winged helmet. From the Bentley Historical Archive:

Jackson earned Freshman All-America first team honors from the Sporting News after collecting 47 tackles, seven pass break-ups and three interceptions in 2001.

An All-Big Ten selection in 2002, Jackson set single game (six) and single season (18) pass break-up records and ranked sixth on the team with 51 tackles.

Jackson earned All-Big Ten first team honors from the coaches and media in 2004. Teams threw away from Jackson almost 87 percent of the time during the regular season. He contributed 38 tackles, five tackles for loss, one sack, one forced fumble, one interception and four pass breakups that year.

Emphasis mine. Eighty seven percent?!?! That is nuts. N-V-T-S, nuts. He would go on to be selected by the Indianapolis Colts with the 29th overall pick in the 2005 NFL Draft--a bit of a snub given his top-20 abilities--and is still under contract with the franchise. He was instrumental in securing a Lombardi Trophy for the Colts in Super Bowl XLI [ed. note: something I'll certainly never forget given the fact that he picked off Tom Brady to clinch the AFC Title and send Horseface Manning to his only Super Bowl]. So why the slip down the draft board in 2005?

[Marlin Jackson's helmet is flying because it has wings]

I'm glad you asked. In the above-listed stats, you'll notice something missing: numbers from 2003, his Junior season. It was a curious year for the Sharon, Pa. native on and off the field. With relative depth at the corner position and a general hole at safety, the All-Everything Jackson switched positions in an effort to help shore up an inconsistent secondary. It did not go swimmingly. He experienced his worst year as a Wolverine statistically and nagging injuries beset whatever minor impact may have existed [ed. note: when he returned to cornerback for his final season, that 'eighty seven percent' stuff happened]. His mind and body just weren't right that year, and away from the team there were other trifles taking place. In particular, a clandestine fracas at one of Ann Arbor's fine evening house parties wherein some Drakkar-wearing, hair-slicking, almond-eating dickhole was understandably punched in the face by my main man Marlin. He pleaded guilty to misdemeanor aggravated assault and was sentenced to probation. Never a good résumé builder, but not the end of the world, ya dig? Fast-forward to the '05 Draft, and now there's noise about an impending civil lawsuit claiming a different set of circumstances. To wit:

Former U-M student Shahin Farokhrany sued for $10 million in May 2005, alleging his injuries required long-term medical care and limited his ability to study and work.


Farokhrany alleged he was hit in the eye with a bottle; Marlin admitted he hit Farokhrany but insists it was with his fist, his attorney, Ellis Freatman said.

You heard the name. But wait...there's more. Brian @ MGoBlog couldn't have been more right when he noted that this guy "certainly looks like an eminently punchable douchebag." Click here for proof. Given that, does the late addition of a weapon to the story sound about right? Unfortunately for Marlin, the timing couldn't have been worse. His draft status and reputation took a hit, having to defend himself of false accusations throughout the interview process, and with that followed the dip in salary that always travels downward and in step with a player's ultimate draft position.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, not to worry. The verdict is in and it is Effronterlicious:

A Washtenaw County jury today found former Wolverine Marlin Jackson was defamed by a fellow student who falsely accused him of assault with a bottle at an off-campus party in 2003.

The six-member panel also awarded Jackson, a defensive back with the Indianapolis Colts, $225,000 in damages--roughly the equivalent of a draft slot in the NFL, said his attorney, Ellis Freatman.

I've been in such a good mood all day because of this. Marlin was cleared of any assault and the eminently punchable douchebag was found guilty of malicious prosecution! Justice is served, bitch. If you plan on consuming any spirits tonight, be sure to raise a glass to a vindicated Marlin Jackson.


(HT: MGoBlog)

Statistics courtesy of The Bentley Historical Library and STL All Sports.
Photo Credit: Associated Press

Remember When?

The purpose of "Remember When?" is to refresh our memories about people and events that, for one reason or another, have fallen through the cracks of recollection over time.

I'd like to turn this post into a running gimmick and periodically add new entries to the series, so suggestions are welcome and appreciated.

Now, after the jump...

Remember When: Maurice Clarett threw his life away?

[Buckeye born, Buckeye bred]

It all started in 2003, when Clarett was temporarily banned from playing NCAA football for getting his pockets lined with cash and then lying to investigators in order to protect a shady coach and program that exploited his talent and inherent stupidity:

He left on a Greyhound bus last May, without a goodbye, without anyone even flipping him the bird. He left unceremoniously, in the middle of the week, with one suitcase, one jacket and one championship he doubted was worth its weight in paper. He left behind the car dealerships, where he says the head coach got him SUVs. He left behind the library, where he says tutors got him bogus A's. He left behind the two-story homes, where he says he got paid for watching paint dry.

He left behind the stucco mansions, where he says boosters slipped him cash for playing Sega with their kids. And he left behind the horseshoe stadium, where he says one man in particular "sold me out."

That program? Ohio State University. That coach? Sweatervest. That hypocrisy:

"Ohio State created me," Maurice Clarett says right off the top. "They created what they suspended."

Then, after essentially being blackballed by the program that once coveted him so, Clarett felt it wise to sue the NFL for early entry into the 2004 draft--challenging the rule that a player must be out of high school three years to be eligible for the draft. He lost, of course, and then sat out the entire 2004 season only to show up for 2005 draft camps looking slow and overweight. The Denver Broncos were foolish enough to give him a look, then burned a late-round draft pick to secure his services. Naturally, Clarett got greedy--you know, after not having played in a real football game for 2 years--and decided to waive his signing bonus in lieu of a $230k contract loaded with performance incentives. The 4-year contract could have netted him about $7 million, but he chose to "get his goose on" and was cut during the pre-season:

The minute Clarett arrived in Denver, the team began to sour on him. At the airport, before flying from Colorado to the rookie symposium, he frantically called the Broncos, saying he'd left a brief case in his airport limo. But there was no brief case in there, just a water bag he always carried around. That's all right, he said, he wanted it.

He would take that water bottle everywhere, including the Bronco weight room, and the team started getting suspicious when, before minicamp practices, he'd grab the bottle and say, "I gotta get my Goose on." It wasn't a joke; the Bronco players were convinced he was chugging Grey Goose.

["Dana Jacobson ain't got nothing on me"]

After his brief stint with the Broncos, Clarett's career-death-spiral picked up momentum and didn't stop until the ex-Buckeye found himself engaged in a high-speed pursuit with several Ohio highway patrolmen. That chase led to this ESPN headline and article: "Police Use Mace On Clarett, Arrest Him After Chase":

Officers used Mace to subdue Clarett after a stun gun was ineffective because the former Fiesta Bowl star was wearing a bullet-resistant vest, Sgt. Michael Woods said.

"It took several officers to get him handcuffed," Woods said. "Even after he was placed in the paddy wagon, he was still kicking at the doors and being a problem for the officers."

Don't you just hate it when the stun gun is ineffective? Me too. Anyway, what the article left out was that three of those weapons were handguns, while the fourth was an AK-47 assault rifle. Jeebus. Not even Rambo had that kind of firepower.

[Things didn't go too well at the pre-draft combines]

How does every high-speed chase end? Right. In a courtroom:

["Who the hell hired Jay Mohr to be my attorney?"]

Clarett accepted a plea agreement in September 2006 and was sentenced to 3 1/2 years in prison for robbery and concealed weapons charges. He is currently serving out the duration of his sentence and, barring poor conduct, is set to be released some time during the middle of 2010.

The lesson in all this? Unless you plan on being a felon, don't start your "career" at Ohio State.

In case we forget...




...The Effrontery remembers when Maurice Clarett threw his life away.