Catching Up: Quick Hits & Clips

Had a lot going on recently, thus the dearth of posts and new content. Unfortunately, it looks like this might now be the rule--as opposed to the exception. We'll see. In the meantime, I've got a pretty nice selection of Quick Hits and Clips to run through.

Let's get started with some breaking news.

Quick Hits

[So you're sayin' there's a chance?!?!]

Obamamania rages on.

Today was a good one for the big "O." Here's the haul:

WASHINGTON - Sen. Barack Obama swept the Louisiana primary and caucuses in Nebraska and Washington state Saturday night, slicing into Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's slender delegate lead in their historic race for the Democratic presidential nomination.

The Illinois senator also won caucuses in the Virgin Islands, completing his best night of the campaign.

His winning margins were substantial, ranging from roughly two-thirds of the vote in Washington state and Nebraska to nearly 90 percent in the Virgin Islands.

Riiiiiiight nehhhhhhr deh beeeeeach, boiiiiiii!!!!! Today the Virgin Islands, tomorrow the world!!!!!!


Dan Snyder probably has better grass than me...

...because I see no other excuse for this:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Washington Redskins hired Jim Zorn as their coach Saturday night, a surprise ending to a monthlong search for a replacement for Joe Gibbs.

"I've always dreamed of being a head coach with a franchise rich in tradition like the Redskins," Zorn said in a team news release. "As a player who had to fight Redskins teams at RFK as well as at our home field, I know about the history of this franchise as well as the passion of its fans. I won't let you down."

Jim Zorn?! I'm glad I'm not a Redskins fan. I think Dan Snyder should write a book called "Reverse-Moneyball: The Art of Losing a Fair Game." Nobody wants to be like Billy Beane anyway. Seriously though, Jim Zorn? I guess Snyder sensed the sincerity in his "I won't let you down" and figured a guy that noble had no business being a quarterbacks coach in Seattle for 7 years:

"We're proud that our search was diligent, thorough, and resulted in today's announcement," owner Dan Snyder said. "Jim's track record and reputation as a player, great teacher, and as a coach makes us confident that they will translate to success for the Redskins."

Zorn, a former Seattle quarterback, was the Seahawks' quarterbacks coach for the last seven years. The Redskins hired him to be their offensive coordinator--his highest coaching position until now--on Jan. 26 while continuing their search for a head coach.

I know he wasn't going for the bargain--this is a guy who uses hundred dollar bills to make sure the battery in his office paper shredder still works. Let's see, he could have hypothetically hired Greg Williams, Al Saunders, Tony Sparano, Jim Fassel, or Steve Spagnuolo, and Danny boy settled--after a month-long "search"--on a warm body to coach his $1.5 billion investment. But hey, at least he knows Zorn 'won't let him down.'


The Neuheisel Era.

Keeping with the Seattle theme here, many thanks to my buddy (and Husky Truther) Kenjar for sending me this four-part feature on Rick Neuheisel's tenure at U-Dub. We had this "Jerramy Stevens sighting" running joke on our fantasy football message board all season, and part two of the feature discusses Stevens' troubled times at UW--with some nice depth on our personal favorite: the time Jerramy Stevens raped a freshman in the bushes outside Kenjar's frat house.

[UW's Greek Row, where, at about 3 AM on June 4, 2000, a student witnessed a possible rape in progress outside the Kappa Sigma house and called 911]

From Stevens to Spellman.

Unlike Jerramy Stevens, Alonzo Spellman has some pretty strong justification for getting arrested last month: he's a Buckeye. They can't help it. Here's The M Zone's write-up on Spellman's latest run-in with the law:

Former Buckeye first round draft pick Alonzo "I smile for mugshots" Spellman was arrested Wednesday in Tulsa after leading police on a chase which ended with the cops having to fire pepper-spray bullets into his vehicle after he refused to exit.

According to the AP story linked above, Spellman was booked into the Tulsa County Jail on complaints of eluding, assault with a deadly weapon on a police officer, resisting arrest and driving without a license.

Police said the most damning evidence against the ex-Tosu great was was the full Beard & Buckstache he was sporting at the time of his arrest.

Yost wasn't joking about the 'smiling for mugshots' thing. Just look at this goon's booking photo:

["Is this the free 5 o'clock crack giveaway?"]

Typical Buckeye meatball.


WSJ pooping Rickey's party.

Sadly, the Wall Street Journal recently decided to kill off one of the great stories from the career of Major League Baseball player Rickey Henderson. In avoidance of stealing someone else's thunder, follow this link to read The Big Lead's synopsis of The Journal's dastardly plans. For further reading on Rickey's career tales, see the Must-Reads section in the right sidebar for a link to The Definitive Rickey Henderson.

Clips

I'm not going to waste much time with the lead-ins. The clips in this selection stand on their own merits.


Berman Gone Wild.

Chances are most of you have seen the following footage already. Still, I would be remiss if it didn't make its way on to The Effrontery. It's an outtake from about 7 years ago, featuring Chris "He could. Go. All. The. Way." Berman getting pretty testy with the production crew during an ESPN taping. Enjoy:





In case the clip ever gets taken off YouTube, this Deadspin post has a permanent embed.


Election redux.

Déjà vu all over again:





Funny stuff. I'm not anti-Hillary, but there's a lot of Tracy Flick goin' on there.


Dance Dance RevObama.

Thanks galore to Joncheeler for sending me this clip from E!'s The Soup:





He's a maniac, maniac, on the floor. And he's dancing like he's never danced before. Hey, speaking of maniacs...


Stop The Insanity.

The Tom Cruise Scientology indoctrination video is old (insofar as entertainment news goes), but I watched it again today and am still amazed. What a wacko. Of course, those pesky Scientologists had it yanked off YouTube within a day, meaning that you must follow this link to the Defamer post with the permanent embed if you wish to view the madness of King Cruise.



Until next time.

That's all I've got for now. Not sure when I'll be able to resume regular posting, so I hope today's offering tides you over until then.

Peace and afro grease.

Quick Hits

So much time and so little to do.

Wait.

Strike that. Reverse it.

Some Wednesday quick hits...


Jay Bilas. ...is still a deluded pederast. But more people are starting to catch on(!), like Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports:

It was one thing for ESPN's Jay Bilas to keep defending Tommy Amaker's brutal run as coach at Michigan, but another to start going after his successor, John Beilein, for being honest about the pitiful program left him in Ann Arbor.

The more Bilas shills for Amaker, the more people in basketball laugh at him.

Unlike Amaker, Beilein never had the ultimate coaching godfather to pick up the phone and get him a job.

"C'mon Jay, that is terrible," an NBA scout who watched Amaker's team regularly in the Big Ten emailed me this week after reading Bilas’ blog rant.

"Almost laughable, really."

Here here. Almost as laughable as Bilas' go-to catchphrase for exalting deep 3-point shooters, where he refers to the player as being "really, really long." That's sort of like Al Michaels' famed injury remark, "he's out with a knee."


T.P. are you with me? Well, yes. Apparently, this weekend:

Big news on the Terrelle Pryor front -- he has changed his official visit date and will head to Ann Arbor this weekend (he was originally scheduled to come in just before signing day).

If anyone in Ann Arbor is listening, GO TO THE FUCKING IOWA GAME THIS WEEKEND! Sorry for yelling...in case you can't tell, Terrelle Pryor is kind of a big deal:

Pryor is a dynamic dual-threat quarterback that showcased his talent in front of a national television audience at the U.S. Army All-American Bowl. His 6-foot-6, 235-pound frame draws natural comparisons to Vince Young, and his stats support his status as the nation's No. 1 player. He finished his career with 4,250 rushing yards and 4,249 passing yards. He led his team to a state championship as a senior, as he rushed for 1,899 yards and 36 scores. He also got it done through the air with 1,889 passing yards and 23 scores.

Basically, the consensus #1 high school player in the country didn't even have Michigan on his radar a month ago. Enter Rich Rodriguez and BAM! POW! WHACK!: T.P. essentially narrows his choices to Ohio State and Michigan. Wow. Considering that, the fact there is even a sliver of a fiber of a remote chance at landing him is absolutely crazy, but then again so is RichRod and his wacko ninja offense. All bets are off. What it boils down to is (on paper) one player holding the immediate future of both football programs in his hot little touchdown-throwing hands. The projected success he is expected to have at whatever university he selects, be it Michigan or Ohio State, pales in comparison to the effect his decision would have upon the school he rejects. If he hypothetically chooses Ohio State, Michigan will still find an excellent quarterback to run the show (and vice-versa). But if this is the case, Ohio State will be the prohibitive favorite on the third Saturday in November for the duration of his enrollment. That, people, is something WORTH YELLING ABOUT. Brian at MGoBlog is of like mind and already has his Pryor Klaxons set to maximum.


Downer. This article about Antonio Bass' knee rehab is really depressing. I mean, it's nice to see him so positive and determined, but you can't help but feel for the guy. Geez.


Upper! With attrition-palooza finally over in Ann Arbor, here's someone who isn't leaving early to go pro:

University of Michigan defensive tackle Terrance Taylor won't be joining junior wide receivers Mario Manningham and Adrian Arrington in the 2008 NFL Draft.

Muskegon High School coach Tony Annese said Tuesday afternoon that his former player had decided to return to Michigan for his senior season.

"I had lunch with him and we really talked about getting a degree," Annese said. "And he said that's what he wanted to do."

Phew. In the immortal words of Bo Schembechler, "those who stay will be champions." Incidentally, they will also be college graduates. A university degree for a football player? What a novel concept.


Class. Something foreign to the city of Indianapolis and its football supporters. Did anybody catch that brief ceremony at the end of the 3rd quarter during Saturday's playoff matchup between the Chargers and Colts? Well, I did. And so did the Patriots' head honcho:

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. (AP) -- Patriots owner Robert Kraft sat behind his wide desk and marveled at how his team's jersey could be the target of so many boos -- even when it's worn by a 14-year-old girl.

This wasn't Randy Moss or Rodney Harrison hearing the catcalls. They're used to it.

This was Anna Grant, a high school freshman who had worked hard to win the Punt, Pass & Kick competition in her age group as the team's representative.

When she was introduced along with the other winners before the fourth quarter of San Diego's playoff win last Sunday, she was the only one booed by the crowd in Indianapolis, home of New England's fiercest rival.

...

"What I decided is that we would honor her here before this game," Kraft said in an interview in his office filled with photos, footballs and other memorabilia. "We will recognize her as the winner on the field. Our fans will know."

Grant returned from school Tuesday and heard a phone message from Andre Tippett, the Patriots' executive director of community affairs and a former star linebacker.

She called back and was ecstatic when Tippett extended the invitation -- plus tickets for her, her parents and two brothers -- to take part.

Go Pats. Go Bob Kraft. Go Anna Grant. And screw you, Colts fans. Just remember how much you and your organization suck while you are booing Anna Grant this weekend from your Costco-decorated living rooms. Way to send the RCA Dome out in style.


Doc & Gopher. For you "Love Boat" enthusiasts out there, check out this 30th Anniversary oral history as told by some of the show's cast members and creators. It's filled with interesting and random facts, like Producer Doug Cramer's remarks on hiring Ted McGinley, the patron saint of "jumping the shark," to breathe a little life into the series:

He was a junior Bob Redford in his day.

Yes, I especially enjoyed Mr. Redford's performances in Revenge of the Nerds and Married...with Children.


That's it for today's quick hits. I may add an update or two, depending on how the rest of the day goes. Don't hold your breath. Unless you are hoping Terrelle Pryor selects Michigan--in that case, suffocate away! If it somehow helps us nab Pryor, you will be martyred and have your praises sung for eternity.


UPDATE (4:58 PM): Some additional stuff on Pryor & Michigan from Sports Illustrated:

The nation's No. 1 player, Jeannette, Pa., quarterback Terrelle Pryor, has had quite a busy week since the U.S. Army All American Bowl. He's added a recruiting mentor, he's shuffled a few of his official visit dates and he's now interested in a new team. Here's the latest on Pryor.

"I'm taking my official visit to Michigan on Jan. 18, that's this upcoming weekend," he said. "I was supposed to go to Penn State but that's changed. I'm not really sure where I'm going on Jan. 25 and if I'll even take a visit in February. Right now it's Michigan as the only one scheduled."

Pryor has been allowing his new mentor, Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Charlie Batch, to help with the process now that it is getting more hectic.

I like that he moved up his visit to UofM in order to spend the full weekend there. Clearly, he's very interested. Unlike with Penn State--a place he isn't going to visit--where the fear of JoePa sinking those dentures into Terrelle's neck to further enhance his longevity is a real concern. Personally, I was fixated on his choice of mentor: Charlie Batch. In my best Sheila Broflovski voice, "What, whaaat, whaaaaat?" Dude! That's crazy! I mean, whether it is crazy good or crazy bad is neither here nor there...but it is definitely random. Here's the skinny:

I've known Charlie for a couple years. His brother dates my aunt. Charlie is kind of part of my family now. We talk. I asked him if he would want to go on my visits, and he said sure.

Again, not sure if this helps Michigan any or hurts it. Batch did play for the Lions at one point in his career, so hopefully he still has some fond memories of his time in SE Michigan.

Quick Hits

I'm all over the place today, so a few quick hits...


The Mallett. Possibly transferring? No. Definitely transferring:

Ryan Mallett's father said Wednesday the quarterback has left the Michigan football program...

The former Texas Class 4A offensive player of the year may end up at Tennessee, which is considering hiring former Michigan offensive coordinator Mike DeBord and quarterbacks coach Scot Loeffler.

Here's daddy on his son's decision:

"If they’re hired, that would be a real good possibility," Jim Mallett said. "Ryan really clicked with both coach DeBord and coach Loeffler during the last couple months of the season and during bowl practices, I’ve never seen Ryan throw the ball or read defenses as well as he did."

Soooo, you’re on record as saying he sucks? I mean, if this is the best his father has ever seen him play and practice, Mallett must have been super-awful his whole life--instead of just quasi-awful. He was horrendous this season, true freshman or not, and is a bona fide head case that the program can't afford to deal with in a transition year. Good riddance.


A2 staying in A2? Not so much:

"Today is a very emotional day for me," Adrian Arrington said in a statement released by the school. "As much as I will miss my teammates, friends and Michigan football family, I have always dreamed about playing in the NFL.

"I believe that I am ready to take on this challenge and move on to the next level. Though I will be catching passes in another city starting next fall, I will always be a Michigan man."

Sigh. No surprise there, but still. I'm saying AA will be a solid pro, and if he slips a bit in the draft and lands somewhere decent-to-good, he'll be a star.


Jay Bilas, deluded pederast. I'd ordinarily leave it at that, but Jim Carty does a fine job of breaking things down for you:

You can't take his criticisms seriously without wondering whether he truly believes what he's saying or just wants to hurt the school that hurt his friend.

Given that, it's probably time for someone at ESPN to suggest to Bilas that--after calling for athletic director Bill Martin's firing and now ripping a first-year coach who's in the midst of a rebuilding job--it's time to leave the Wolverines alone for a while.

And time for Michigan fans to turn somewhere else for serious analysis of their basketball program.

After defusing Bilas' misguided claims, Carty posted a follow-up from a local coach connected to both Tommy Amaker and John Beilein, which speaks to said pederast's bias:

I spent many days at Tommy Amaker practices and attended almost all of Beilein's practices this year before my season began. In my opinion, Michigan has gone from the West Michigan White Caps to the Detroit Tigers in terms of level of coaching. There simply is no comparison between these two gentlemen. Beilein will get it done at Michigan--when he has Big Ten players.

Hey, Jay? Why don't you and Ryan Mallett hop on a flight to Beantown and start fondling Tommy Amaker's balls [ed. note: no pun intended]. ASAP.

For further reading, I recommend this take from Brian at MGoBlog [ed. note: the relevant part comes midway through the post].


BCS Schadenfreude, revisited. The Columbus Dispatch has wonderful news for Rich Rodriguez and Co.:

Depending on how many juniors declare for the NFL draft, Ohio State could make a run at a third straight appearance in the national title game.

"A little bit of it will be determined by who ends up (leaving early)," Tressel said. "I'm guessing (defensive end) Vernon Gholston for sure, because being a fourth-year guy I don't know how much more he can enhance himself draft-wise...and I'm guessing maybe (linebacker James) Laurinaitis."

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiick.


Mom. So, I made the mistake of allowing my mother to read The Effrontery. Yeah. As a result, I'm starting to get e-mails like this one from Sunday:

Buon giorno, Chill,
Don't be an Eli-hater! He may not be there on 2/3/08, but he rocked today. (Flashes of his big-bro, but, yes, everyone already knows you are a Peyton-hater!) What happened to John Grudin [sic] this morning??? Is he still recovering from New Year's Eve?????? He seemed a bit comatose today.
xoxox

Whoa. Just whoa. I'm quite amused and a bit appalled all at once. So, I might as well respond, right? Without getting into the whole argument, yes, I'm a total Peyton-hater. And hate is indeed the correct word. To quote the famous Right Guard deodorant commercial, "Anything less would be uncivilized." Eli? Meh. I'm completely indifferent; to call me an Eli-hater would imply some level of interest--like, the way I am interested in seeing Peyton fail at every possible opportunity. The only thing I haven't figured out yet is whether or not I dislike PM more than Tony "Two-face" Dungy, the bigoted, intolerant charlatan who preaches goodwill towards man while openly condemning anyone who does not adhere to the tenets of his religious fundamentalism. Wait, I think we just figured out the answer. Still doesn't change the fact that my mom roots for the Colts when she could easily be cheering for a more noble cause. Like Tom Brady and the Pats.

As to being addressed as "Chill," well, it's better than "assface."


J Leman: Chuck Norris' worst nightmare. I linked to a superb post from Black Heart, Gold Pants about the extracurricular pursuits of one J Leman, All-American Hero. You can find it in the "This Just In..." section, but here's a teaser:

Leman's favorite infomercials are those hawking exercise products and kitchen gadgets, particularly the "Magic Bullet."

"It's the personal countertop magician," Leman said. "It can do anything in 10 seconds or less. It does it all."

J Leman is great.