In Los Angeles, the Trojan bandwagon is all the rage. Men love 'em. Women love 'em. Gays and hookers love 'em too!
Until recently, even UCLA supporters loved 'em.
I know, I know...all you UCLA people reading this right now are thinking "Blasphemy! I would never support Trojans!"
Well, Bruin fans, unless you were practicing abstinence or fully intent on contracting HIV, I'm sure you've enjoyed some quality time with a Trojan in your lifetime. And that's okay. There's no need to be ashamed. But now, with the help of UCLA alum Mike Filonczuk (via Bruins Nation), your inner Trojan Man can finally bow to a worthy rival:
[Why go bare when you can go BEAR?]Yes, they are real... no photoshopping whatsoever. According to Filonczuk, a patented inventor who attended UCLA from 1970-1974:
No self respecting Bruin would ever wear a Trojan!
Well done, Mike. Now they won't have to. And if you're a sexually curious Bruin who also takes safety seriously, here's all the assurance you need:
[Note: Bruins will not stop the 8-Clap]That's right, not only are "Bruins" electronically tested [ed. note: like on what, a vibrator?] and doctor recommended, they're also high on comfort (and double entendre):
BEAR-LY THERE!
Oh, you witty Bruins, you. When humor and safety collide, it probably happens in Westwood. Problem is, the only reason I go there anymore is for In-N-Out or to hang out with my Persian friends. Maybe I should pay the village a visit sometime soon, if only to alert Frat Row that "a real Bruin would never wear anything else."
My only concern with this whole development comes from watching UCLA's football team struggle on defense all season long. They lost to Notre Dame for crying out loud(!)--and even allowed a touchdown. If these new rubbers are anything like the football team they represent, well, uh oh.
