Schadenfreude

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! :

[What, no dap?]

[Linebacker Ali Highsmith clotheslines Todd Boeckman for spelling his last name like a jackass]

[Sweatervest is not pleased]

[The driver of this car is happy he declined to pay for the optional moon roof]

[Les Miles: "Well, Jim, you certainly looked much taller during that Chris Hansen special on Dateline NBC"]

["Waaahhoooooooooooo"]

[ed note: I'm not even bothering with a caption]

["Go get your fucking shine box"]

It's like Christmas around here, people. Which I guess would technically be Hanukkah for me. But why stop there? It feels a bit like Kwanzaa too. It's Chrismahanukwanzakah, the happiest day of the year!!!! Words are failing me right now, so here's what the media is saying...


From the Associated Press:

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- Fifteen people were arrested and several fires set around the Ohio State campus after the Buckeyes lost to LSU in the BCS championship game Monday night.

Most of the arrests were on charges of disorderly conduct or resisting arrest, though two were expected to be charged by arson investigations after trash bins were set on fire, police spokeswoman Amanda Ford said Tuesday. Between 10 and 12 fires were reported.

Trash bins set ablaze. I know Buckeye fans are retards, but why go and burn your home to the ground? With all those dumpster fires, where oh where is a weary Buckeye supposed to find adequate shelter?

Another from the AP:

NEW ORLEANS -- The sequel to Ohio State's horror film ended up looking an awful lot like the original.

About the only thing the Buckeyes seem good at is making sure there's no controversy over who is really the national champion.

You can't see me at the moment, but I'm nodding profusely.

I hate Pat Forde, and this article pretty much sucks, but it has one stretch of dialogue that is absolutely fantastic:

When the program's bowl record is 0-9 against the SEC, the evidence is overwhelming.

Buckeyes fans are fond of breaking into impromptu group spelling bees, shouting out "O-H-I-O." When an SEC team shows up on the other sideline it should be "O-H-N-O."

They're also fond of calling their school The Ohio State University. It might also now be called The Overmatched State University of the BCS.

Na Ha Ha!

Finally, from the AP again:

"I can't even wait to hear what they're going to be saying," offensive lineman Alex Boone said about the team's critics. "They might all just be saying we should go jump off a bridge or something."

That would be a nice start, Alex.

"It hurts tremendously," said Chris "Beanie" Wells, one of the few bright spots with 146 yards on 20 carries and a touchdown. "You can't compare it to anything. To go to the national championship twice and lose, it's incredible."

Incredibly awesome, bitch!



(photos courtesy of Getty Images and US Presswire)

Geaux Les Miles!

The argument goes like this: if you are a Michigan fan, it is important to root for Ohio State against LSU in tonight's MNC because "it's a Big 10 thing."

Incredibly, some Michigan fans are actually buying into this crap logic--including Yost at The M Zone, whom I normally have much admiration for:

It's a Big 10 thing. Michigan knocked off Florida and a Buck defeat of the Bayou Bengals would go a long way toward shutting people up about SEC superiority and the Big 10's alleged decline (well, all except Drew Sharp).

The only reasonable point there is the one about Drew Sharp. Total asshat. Beyond that, his logic as a Michigan fan is completely and utterly out of whack. What's more important, keeping the SEC from bragging about its alleged superiority for a year--a totally subjective argument--or keeping Ohio State fans from forever bragging about their third appearance and second MNC victory in 6 years? It's not even close.

Any good will that Ohio State fans built up by pulling for Michigan against Florida warrants no recompense when a National Title is at stake. Furthermore, the fact that Michigan went out and beat the SEC's 'speed, spread and shred' poster boy in its back yard is proof enough that the myth of SEC superiority over all of college football is just that--a myth. I don't need to see Ohio State win another goddamn MNC to feel better about my conference or my school. For the life of me, I don't know why any self-respecting Michigan fan would feel otherwise.

Then there's the Les Miles thing. Please, can we get a moratorium on people accusing him of making our program look bad? Sailboat Bill Martin made the program look bad, then saved face by pulling a Rodriguez--er, rabbit--out of his Maize and Blue hat. The presumption that Miles harbors some animosity towards Michigan might be valid, but only because he wanted dearly to come home. He's coaching to win the biggest game of his career, not to rub victory in the faces of UofM loyalists, as The M Zone suggests:

...he'll probably then hold another press conference after the game announcing he's not coming to Michigan to rub it in.

I love The M Zone and will continue reading it regularly, but I just couldn't let that post go by without making my point. The sports adage I will always abide by is this: "My two favorite teams are Michigan and whoever is playing Ohio State." That Michigan Man Les Miles is coaching against my hated rival only makes rooting easier. He would be saving us a from a lifetime of incontrovertible bragging. So, save us Les, save us:

(credit: Michigan Against The World)

Buckeyes are browneyes.

UPDATE (2:12 PM): Speak of the devil, Drew Sharp apparently feels that Michigan fans will be rooting for OSU; Michigan Against The World disagrees.